note to family and friends

now i don't claim to be an expert on these things so if you do, feel free to correct me. but i was quite sure that my copy of "how to win friends and pash boys" mentioned something about funerals not being pick-up points, particularly when the funeral is for the mother of your crush. am i wrong?
without naming names or pointing fingers, i am next-to-certain that a certain someone attended my grandmother's funeral this week, with the express purpose of cracking onto my uncle (i.e. my grandmother's son.)
now call me a prude, i can handle it, but is this not possibly a bit inappropriate?

am i the only one who thinks this?
now i am a fan of numerous forms of inappropriateness; inappropriate flatulence; inappropriate laughing; inappropriate language; inappropriate drunkenness; inappropriate outfits; inappropriate jokes. and my family is no stranger to any of these phenomena.
but trying to pick up at a funeral? the son of the deceased?

i don't know kids. particularly when he is your ex-husband.
apparently i too have partaken in the inappropriate pick-up, but i was inappropriately drunk at the time and therefore don't remember a thing and can live in the warm womb of denial....aaahhh denial.
anyway i diverge, if you want to pick up just get blind drunk and throw yourself at someone, don't come to funerals of my family members and try to pick up your ex-husband.

Mary Patricia Faulkner

As I watched your lips turn blue and pulse slow down and held your hand as it went cold I selfishly thought of myself. I wanted you to wake up so I could ask you all the questions I never got around to asking. I wanted to hear all the stories you never got around to telling.
What secrets have you taken with you?

Your history is my history.

All your life was dedicated to caring for other people and your only wish was that you would never reach the state where someone else would have to care for you.

Constantly giving with nothing asked in return.
Friends and family spread across the nation; I will never know the full extent of the loss your passing brings about.

Your heart kept beating long after you stopped breathing, but we always knew you were all heart.

You fought battles and overcame hurdles that I will never have to.
Though I only ever knew you as a loving older woman I know you were a force to be reckoned with in your youth. Amidst the oppression of ultra-Catholicism you took your destiny in your hands and, right or wrong, left your family to caravan around Australia with the man you loved. 8 years I think you said you did that, fruit picking, hairdressing, cooking... from town to town with no agenda but the road ahead.

I wouldn't have the courage to do that now.... Let alone as a married woman in the 70's.

A simple woman with simple pleasures who had 7 sugars in her tea and enjoyed a cheeky beer.
She wasn't always right but her intentions always were.
I never met someone with such a capacity to care and love. While you told me stories of distant second cousin's nephews and nieces, I pretended I was interested and knew who these people were. You had a seemingly limitless knowledge of the most distant branches of the family tree and you loved them all.

I love you more than I showed with my infrequent visits and phonecalls, but I know that you know that.

Never one to demand more for yourself, despite deserving more than the rest of us put together.

I know the end was just as you would have wanted it, and thank god it never got to the point of me having to suffocate you with a pillow, as you once tried to make me promise that I would.

We were the exact same height with the exact same body (yours just a bit older) and I'm hoping some of your spirit spilt over into mine.

You are one of the most amazing women I will ever meet and I will miss you always.

I love you Ma.

speakings of the silent

i know its been a long time. you thought i'd never return didn't you?
let me explain; this blog's main purpose is to provide me with an activity to assist in the further procrastination of uni work. given that i had no uni work over the lengthy break, i felt no need to even approach a computer. in fact, i made every effort to avoid them. thus the silence.
as i now find myself in my university library on a wonderfully sunny day, trying to muster the motivation to actually do some work, i find i again need the blogosphere.
the blogosphere allows me to sit at this computer and tap away at the keyboard as if i was actually doing something productive, like all the other kids are doing!
i know the logic behind this predicament seems flawed. 'if only i dedicated a space of time to actually doing work, rather than inventing ways to put it off, i may actually have some time to go out and enjoy the sunshine' i hear you say.
WRONG!
the problem with that theory is that it presupposes that there is an end to this stream of work. it rests on the assumption that if i were to just work constantly there eventually would come a time when all the work was done. this argument may work in some situations, but not in the situation of 4th year Arts/Social Work student. no i'm afraid not. the situation of a 4th year Arts/Social Work student is one overflowing with dry and depressing articles regarding the decline of the welfare state and the ramifications of economic rationalism; the differences between public policy and social policy; the infinite number of ways in which structural factors create personal problems.... and the list goes on.
so you see blogosphere, why i need you.

i would also like to take this opportunity to acknowledge the sad passing of one Toffee; the talkative ginger tabby who never grew out of looking like a kitten. i'm so sorry nads.