Mary Patricia Faulkner

As I watched your lips turn blue and pulse slow down and held your hand as it went cold I selfishly thought of myself. I wanted you to wake up so I could ask you all the questions I never got around to asking. I wanted to hear all the stories you never got around to telling.
What secrets have you taken with you?

Your history is my history.

All your life was dedicated to caring for other people and your only wish was that you would never reach the state where someone else would have to care for you.

Constantly giving with nothing asked in return.
Friends and family spread across the nation; I will never know the full extent of the loss your passing brings about.

Your heart kept beating long after you stopped breathing, but we always knew you were all heart.

You fought battles and overcame hurdles that I will never have to.
Though I only ever knew you as a loving older woman I know you were a force to be reckoned with in your youth. Amidst the oppression of ultra-Catholicism you took your destiny in your hands and, right or wrong, left your family to caravan around Australia with the man you loved. 8 years I think you said you did that, fruit picking, hairdressing, cooking... from town to town with no agenda but the road ahead.

I wouldn't have the courage to do that now.... Let alone as a married woman in the 70's.

A simple woman with simple pleasures who had 7 sugars in her tea and enjoyed a cheeky beer.
She wasn't always right but her intentions always were.
I never met someone with such a capacity to care and love. While you told me stories of distant second cousin's nephews and nieces, I pretended I was interested and knew who these people were. You had a seemingly limitless knowledge of the most distant branches of the family tree and you loved them all.

I love you more than I showed with my infrequent visits and phonecalls, but I know that you know that.

Never one to demand more for yourself, despite deserving more than the rest of us put together.

I know the end was just as you would have wanted it, and thank god it never got to the point of me having to suffocate you with a pillow, as you once tried to make me promise that I would.

We were the exact same height with the exact same body (yours just a bit older) and I'm hoping some of your spirit spilt over into mine.

You are one of the most amazing women I will ever meet and I will miss you always.

I love you Ma.